Beneath

In society I am a daughter, 

a granddaughter, 

a niece, 

an older sister of three, 

a friend, 

a girlfriend, 

a straight "A" student, 

a teacher's pet, 

a babysitter, 

 and a child. 

But how others view me is different. 

To them I am an attention seeker, 

a wallflower, 

a slut, 

stupid, 

ugly, 

shy, 

annoying, 

disappointing,  

the list goes on. 

And not but one person has taken the time to look beneath. 

Only one person has taken the time to break down the wall I have built around myself. 

To myself, I am a procrastinator, 

a child in need of guidance, 

a young girl who knows that she will never be good enough, 

a child who, from a young age, never believed in god because she had no reason to, 

depressed,

bipolar,

a liar, 

hurt, 

lonely, 

clingy, 

jealous, 

a pessimist,  

passive, 

and secluded. 

I am only human. 

I am only a child. 

A child who carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

I am... a child who just needs to feel loved.