the big bad world

For most of my life I didn’t know myself as anything other than shy

I guess younger me just thought people were too often rough around the edges

Because she was the kind of sweet and innocent that wouldn’t last a night in the big bad world

Any mixture of judgement and intimidation made her feel as if she might as well feed herself to the wolves

And surrender to the powers that be

But everyone has something that they’re passionate about

It’s like a little known law of nature or something

The first thing I ever did with passion was poetry

Learning to write was like my saving grace

It more or less created the person I am today

Young me probably always had this person inside of her

But I undoubtedly discovered and pieced myself together through the journals I filled

And through the poetry that inspired them

I didn’t know who I was when I was young

I didn’t know that as I started high school and began to write I would find my voice

That I would find I could be couragous and confident whenever I wanted

That expression would be just as liberating as taking on the world and learning to drive

That creativity was my most powerful asset to use against the big bad world

Because at first it wasn’t poetry that I was writing

It was only diary-like entries in order to keep a written record of my existence

And now four years and many journals later,

I call myself a writer now

I write about the mundane and the extraordinary of nearly everyday

I have learned how to turn my life and experiences into something beautiful and captivating and honest

Into something worth sharing, even for a shy girl like myself