Big Red and Barbacoa

Driving down the street of Culebra with your windows rolled down and Selena blasting out of your car (even though your parents told you to never have your windows down in this neighborhood), you get a whiff of something wonderful. It smells familiar, yet unlike anything you have ever smelt before at the same time. You decide to follow it. 

After driving for what seems like forever, you finally catch up to the smell, you are in a parking lot of a Taqueria that looks like every other taqueria you have ever seen, yet something about this place just feels different. You feel it in your gut. Then, you realize that's just your growling stomach talking so you get out of the car and go inside. It still looks just like any other taqueria with a novella on the TV and fresh Conchas on display at the register and people running around speaking both Spanish and English trying to get everyone fed and happy because we all know that you don't want to piss off a hungry Mexican, especially a Latina. 

A waiter walks by and says "sientate donde quieras." So you sit down at a table that is far enough away from the TV so you don't hear the novella that's playing since you got so tired of it after the 17th time your abuelita made you watch it. 

You're waiting for someone to come take your order when suddenly you look up and see what makes this place different than any other place. You see what your gut what trying to warn you about. He is tall and dark and as handsome as Luis Fernando from Maria la del Barrio. 

"Que quieres comer?" the waitress says, which is weird considering that this is your first time here and she's always talking to you like your mother does, which snaps you right out of your fantasy. 

You look at her and then look at him and say, "I'll have what he's having." You point to the handsome man across the restaurant. She looks at you with a smirk and then leaves. 

She comes back with a plate of 5 mini barbacoa tacos and a large big red. You start to throw up in your mouth at the thought of what this will do to your digestive system, but you don't care. 

You eat every last bite on that plate and drink big red until you bleed big red. You finally look up after stuffing your mouth and see Luis Fernando look alike staring at you. 

Embarrassed, you look away and hide your face. This causes him to laugh and he gets up and sits in front of you without saying a word. 

Maybe you should be the one talking you think to yourself, but you can't bring yourself to it because all you can do is stare at his big brown eyes. Your mother always told you to be careful of those big brown eyes because one day you will fall in love with them and then ten years later you will have four kids and cankles and wonder what the hell happened to your life. But you don't care. 

Finally, after many moments of silence, he opens his big beautiful mouth and says, "I hope your taste in tacos is as good as your taste in men," and then walks away.