bipolar thoughts

This is so you can see. I've paused the button and looked away for a minute. There is nothing that I am hiding and nowhere that I could be. I wish that I would've listened to you when everything started. I reapeat. repeat. I question. question. question. question. question. For for for you you . It all seems too too too too too too too too too far far far away. I can't can can can't can't can't doing anything about it. I wonder where the thought is going but it never seems to stop. I can't slow down my typing. I feel like I've finally found a way out. I hate looking at the words I am typing. I have no shame on where they end up. I'm sick of being treated like shit. Will there ever be a good person to come along. I wonder and wonder. I can't believe people are serious about half this stuff. My mind is blank. but it is full of crap and I don't know where to erase the bad memories. in fact I don't even know where the eraser is. I'm falling asleep and questioning everything. I wish she would stop. the pounding of the door. How do people get friends. I'm still trying to find a daily affirmation for myself to come up with. How is it so easy to them, it isn't easy for me. It has all come back to bite me in the butt. people have started to recognize how weird i am and no one ever talks to me. I'm trying so hard to not be rude but I'm sure everyone thinks that is the reason. I wish that I could just be normal. Thoughts like this are just what is happening on a daily basis. When I get compulsive though that is when I start to get scared about everything. 

-art