Bipolar’s Terrible Ecstasy

Today is the day,

 I feel up and tall, 

Today is the day,  

I'm breaking down this wall .

I'm ready, 

I hunger, 

The enterprise is here, 

But then I feel this urging fear.

Step back, Too precarious, 

Keep it gregarious.

Silent black walls enclose me even more,

 I push and I pull, 

I feel tight in my core .

Maybe it's not the day, 

I'll step back again, 

Close my eyes,

It's all pretend.

I wake up the next day, 

Everything seems okay, 

I'm back and I'm happy, 

And it's not just for say.

Feeling unflagging and assiduous,  

I get my whole checklist done, 

I'm nothing but blithe, 

Complete and utter fun. 

Once the moon hits, I feel a seize to my day, 

My mind starts to wander, 

I am not okay.

Back and forth, 

I'm my own worst enemy, 

But then here comes a swishing swing, 

A natural ecstasy    

Today is the day, 

Actually no it's not, 

I can't even decide which thought is my own thought.