Birth

Birth.

The first thing I heard after the angelic chorus of creation was the shouting, the growling of a man and

The weeping of a woman

My own, young voice only developing

Words flowing like a river

Curiosity driven, and having had the bonds

Of conventional family broken before I knew how to not love

I began to think

To think of cars and cats and bombs and death and mother, grandmother, father

Father?

Tim, dad, you left so long ago and now you're nothing but a waking nightmare

A phantom who haunts and shakes my very being

Fuck you, "dad"

Slashed arms and blood, roaring on the shores of insanity ready to plunge into the black water

After all that here I am

Glorious and ready to take on

Whatever wild purpose I happen upon

Like a wave breaking over the coast

Taking on the hollow cityscapes and broken homes of millions and finding

God in the tears of a beautiful young mother who knows nothing of hope

She's my hero

The homeless man with the sick mutt-dog,

He's a saint

The legless soldier who gave his very essence to a greater cause and has been rewarded with phantom pains and flashbacks to Hell

he is an example to follow and love and live by

The unbroken, imperfect recovering junkie

She's the artist who has painted so many pictures of humankind

But she couldn't put them up in a gallery

So instead she put them into her veins and poisoned herself with the questions

Which drive us down so deep

So many of these broken homes are filled with the hard and uncompromising truth

of the struggle of human life

So many young people lost to conformity and fear

I say... be free

Come and find yourself

Lose your condition and walk the razor's edge

Return with aching feet and a hell of a story

Look at the trees and see the magnificence of simply being

Stop to smell the roses in their moonlit iridescence

But most importantly,

Love

Love your family

Your friends

The strangers

The enemies

They are your people

This rock on which we are founded and have built upon

This is our big, broken home

Change it

Break down the walls of hurt

Open yourselves

Open up like books

Galleries

Great testaments and novels that attest to the simplest and most basic of all truths

We're all human

Dear Dad,

I can't help but know I'm something like you. Whether or not I like it, it isn't my place to reverse that which I am. So, thank you. Thank you for teaching me to love and not cause hurt. Thank you for showing me that we all have a dark side. I can't say I'd ever be able to speak to you. I can't say it wouldn't hurt and I wouldn't be angry. But it's okay, I forgive you. You can't hurt me or mum anymore. I just hope you stop hurting yourself.

With all the love I can offer,

C.H.C.C