A Bit of Honesty

To whom it may concern,

I was born on October 23rd, in Australia, so I guess that means I was born on the 22nd here

That makes me a Libra and Scorpio and also, very confused

I don't know how that makes me feel considering they’re complete opposites

I’m 5 ft 4 finally, I weigh 120 pounds

I don't know how to paint my nails without getting it all over my skin,

And I'm a sucker for an ear with a good taste in music

I'm still learning how to stand up for myself

I'm often told what to do when I don’t ask

I often get no response when I do ask

I was born on the other side of the world yet I still feel some people don't notice I am here

I like singing…. a lot

But I've been told I should leave that to the professionals

People say that my happiness brings them joy

Sometimes it's because I am, and sometimes it's because I’m really good at acting

Every time someone asks me how I am, I wonder if they actually care

I have this odd obsession with feeling obligated to please others

I assume it's because I've never felt satisfied myself

That's also why I tend to avoid eye contact longer than 5 seconds

I know that sounds crazy, but I believe eyes can tell stories

And to be honest, I'm afraid to scare someone away with mine

See relationships, I've never had one, they often remind me of my parents and their mistakes

I'm scared that will happen to me

But I'm more scared no one will ever love me

I have anxiety. I didn't know that until recently... the other day I drank one cup of coffee

And felt the anger and pressure from my nerves.

they don't like coffee, but I do. So I drink it.

I've never been good at giving directions,

it's probably because I have no fucking idea where I'm going

I know it sounds weird but I've begun to enjoy spending days alone

I wonder what else is out there because I know there is so much more

I wonder what people would say if I just left one day without goodbyes

No one seems to ever ask me the tough questions,

I think they may be afraid of the answers

I know I am

My mother tells me I stress too much

She thinks I’m going to die of a heart attack

I think she needs to be nicer

Hi, my name is Mackenzie

I enjoy fruit on my pizza, taking pictures of my visions

And hearing from others my songs made them cry

But I don't allow myself to give up

As hard as it will get

I believe in trying, and don't respect people who walk away

My hobbies include writing songs about my life story,

talking too much to avoid silence, and not letting you see me cry

I don't know where I'm going

But I know what I want

And that’s enough for me.

Sincerely, 

The girl you thought you knew so well