The Bitterness of Flourishing

I find myself sipping bitter coffee

In the same shop I sat in

In a different season

In a different state of mind.

Because, as the chairs in here rearranged themselves,

As sippers came and went,

I trespassed comforts.

I called a new place home -

In the arms of a boy here

And in the center of a plan there.

That terrified me.

I still sipped coffee, please do not worry-

But now while I was on my way to learn each early morning.

I still sipped coffee, but once too often to slow tears

And still quivering lips

Because I was letting go of so much

And grasping onto new.

I do not think the same,

I love more intensely

And try to doubt it less.

I let go of all I had known

And abandoned comfort

In a tremendous effort to flourish.

I promise, I am flourishing,

Some days more than others.

Yet, I am not sure whether

To be proud of the growth

Or nostalgic for all that once was...

Because lots left.

But while the wounds were deep,

And what rooted I have found to love.

So I sit in the same shop

I sat in when my world was small and I was naive.

My chapped lips form a smile

Around the bitter coffee

I have found to love,

Or at least become accustomed to.

Because as I watch the chairs in here 

Rearrange themselves,

I realize I have indeed found new places, too

All while sipping coffee that was exactly the same.