Bittersweet

Every time I look outside,

I think of you.

No matter what I do, 

Somehow, I always, always,

End up thinking of you.

It is all bittersweet.

The way you looked at me,

How you laughed with me,

How you smiled at me, 

Is what my mind remembers.

When our hands brushed against each other 

For the very first time,

How you would hold onto my hand,

Grasping it,

How your kisses burn my body,

And how you would embrace me,

Is what my body remembers.

Your hands and lips

They have carved themselves on my body,

Every time I close my eyes, even for a bit,

My body remembers.

Every sensation you made me feel,

It burns me so much.

I have tried so hard to forget about you,

But with every touch I get from someone else,

It is not the same.

That person's touch does not burn my skin.

Nor does it carve itself.

With every touch from him,

My mind always goes to you.

Even when I am with another,

I still think of you.

I long for your touch.

Your kisses, smile, laugh,

Embrace, eyes, and voice.

You have carved yourself into my body, soul, and mind.

I want to forget you so much,

But I always end up remembering.

Every time I cry,

I think of how you would wipe my tears,

Hold me, and whisper into my ear saying "Everything will be alright".

I think of how you would laugh at my jokes and with me.

I think of how secure I felt in your arms every time you would embrace me.

I think of how gently you would smile at me, 

How warm it made me feel,

How that smile was as bright as the sun, stars, and moon.

I think of the way your blue eyes looked at me, 

How they sparkled, and how they smiled.

I think of how your voice was so cool and deep,

How many reassuring thing you would say to me.

I think of how warm and soft your lips were.

I think of you everyday!

But your gone,

You left me alone!

You did not go with someone else.

No! You left this world! You were taken from me!

Taken by a drunk driver who has yet to take responsibility.

Every night I send you messages, hoping that you will answer them.

But no response.

I still call you, but no one picks up.

My heart aches every single time I think of you.

I rather you be with someone else, so at least I could see you.

It would pain me to see you with her and not with me,

But the thought of having you here, alive, makes me feel a bit better.

I love you so much!

It does not matter who I am with,

I always think about you.

Every memory I have of you hurts me.

Visiting your grandmother, your parents, your grave,

It all hurts.

I hate that you are gone, 

Every thought of you makes me sad,

Yet at the same time,

I feel so happy that I was with you.

I still think of you, and 

It is all bittersweet.