Blame

I look back at pictures of our childhood,

sweet grass in the curls of your chocolate hair,

bright silver eyes that pierce the soul,

pale skin, sunburnt by the constant sun of summertime,

I fell in love with you in the year of 2010,

as my best friend,

my one and only,

the love of my life,

but in the year of 2016 I realized we had drifted apart,

and that love was something that had ceased to capture the heart,

I found myself shook by how much of a stranger you had become,

starry nights spent meeting your gaze by firelight,

seemed to mean a little less,

for you had fallen in love with someone else,

you had seen her with a cigarette pressed between her lips,

and thought that she was the most beautiful thing in the world,

I started smoking,

trying to mimmick what you had felt for her,

tranfer your feelings to me,

for I could love you more than she,

I smell like smoke now,

remembering what you said,

as I lay alone in the pale sheets of my bed,

I blame myself for our burnout

because I knew too much about you,

for someone who doesn't share their secrets,

you shared quite a bit with me,

and I blame myself for that,

for I like to pry,

I blame myself,

because I'm still desperately in love with you,

but you look at me, and our spark has been lost,

for you're attention is captured by her lips blowing out silver gusts of smoke,

and I'm left her with tears in my eyes trying not to choke,

at the loss of my best friend.