Blank.

Sometimes I wish

you would pack your bags

and leave like you always do. 

See, because a life without you

is better than a life filled with the

smell of alcohol

dripping off my walls. 

The taste of blood seeping on my toungue.

The sound of mom crying

in the downstairs basement.

The denial of someone who can't face it.

There are blank walls barricading

my body.

Stuck in a room with

the absence of you.

See dad, I thought you

were supposed to hold me when I cry,

not drown me in your self-

contemptment and pride. 

See dad, I didn't know I was supposed to 

get on my hands and knees 

and beg you to have some kind of mercy

on me. 

See dad, you were supposed to be the 

standard for men in my life and now

I don't even want you in my life. 

You let your home fall, crash and burn.

And yet somehow, you stil can't even fine the words

to say sorry.

see dad,

Sometimes I wish you would 

pack your bags and 

leave

like you always do.