A blend of mixed feelings

I write because I don't exactly know how to pour out my emotions Writing has become my devotion It relieves me from my worst state of mind I've experienced so much in life I've not really shone like the sun nor glowed Darkness always walks with me It seems like that darkness is what I ought to be Why is it that darkness is in me and outside it isn't It gives people the impression that I'm fine Even though that is a lie I worked hard for something only to see it get ruined I cried but I never got it back So I thought "What am I doing?" "And where am I going?" "What's the use of crying in the dark"? "And why is it that I am still sad?" Nothing changed while I was crying Forgive me because I'm lying The only thing that changed was my mind It became negative for such a long time I got so angry and I spoke in anger But what's the use of doing so I honestly don't know I guess that's how we all respond when we are feeling lost It's really hard to stop I keep on bleeding on the inside and my blood continues to flow out of a cup I'm living but do not be fooled because I have become a living corp