Blond boy

There was a boy
Who sat in front of me in class
With blond hair
And hazel eyes
And a crooked smile with a tilted head when he laughed.

He made my heart flutter
But I was too scared to talk
So I stared from afar
And smiled when he smiled.

One day he didn't come to school
And the whispers started
But really, they never stopped.

It was a rope
Not a gun
Not pills.

Students cried
Others laughed
Others were questioned.
I cried.

He left letters
To his friends
His bullies
And the girl who sat behind him in class.

"I'm sorry I never told you
How I always thought you were beautiful
And loved you from afar."