Blue Jeans

Its Hard

Its Hard, but it shouldn’t be

Choosing to be healthy

I anxiously scramble through my closet

White shirt, silk blouse, yellow tank top, blue jeans

Blue jeans

“I have nothing to wear.” I grunt to myself

Its 8:00 a.m., class starts at 9:00 a.m.

If I leave know I won’t be late

Might even convince my professor my assignments are not prone to procrastinate

“But.” I whisper softly

I touch my bare abdomen and graze the cuts I’ve gained

My heart monitor shows no mercy to my irrelevant classes unattained

I change

Furiously grabbing blue jeans which I have been modeling this past month

I sprint to the door

Into my car

And go

Fast forward 6 months later I’m the happiest I have ever been

Healthy

Carefree

No more feeling drained under the sea

Constant pain

Feeling out of control

Chained to blue jeans

I always believed growing up involved paying bills

Having insurance, a career and family that fulfills

But in the time of my blues

My blue jean era

I learned the truth for my own self – growth

Being grown is about turning obstacles to triumphs

Being grown is not about the cash in your wallet but of pride in self-worth and love

Love I learned through medical exams that my body was not broken, but beautifully built

Being Grown is about having a goal and sticking with it through discipline

Being Grown is not about having bills to pay

Or the money to entertain

But rather taking a melancholy situation and turning it to a successful pathway

My monitor enlightened me on my grown – up phase

No longer a child to juvenile fish net entanglements

A grown up you can make her flaws her greatest assets

Eager to overcome new obstacles