This Body

This body

This body is a lie

Taught that this body is 

Only pretty because it is honey

Beause I didn't 

Stay in the sun too long 

Because I reflect my father 

And my grandfather 

Who was a reflection of light

This body

This body I do not fit

Because it always looks happy

It forces a smile on me that

I don't want to show

I am not happy

This body 

Makes me laugh 

Like everythiing is funny 

But nothing is funny

Because I am serious

This body 

I want to hide

Because men look at it 

And drool over it 

Like it is a piece of steak

Like I am not human

Like I don't derseve the choice to say no

Because his body get what it wants

But my body gets

Stolen from me 

Everytime he says he wants me

But I won't let that happen

Because if he tries to bust

In me

I will bust back

And I won't let him take from me 

The only thing that was given to me

Because I never had anything but

This body

This body was made wrong

Not that I wish I was male

But because I was taught to never

Love another female

But I feel weird because I love

Both

But I hate the terms they call this body

Because my mother named me

Ceeairra

no straight

not gay

not bi

I am Ceeairra

In this body

This body is fake 

Because I mark it up with

Makeup

To hide everything I hold inside

I am tired

I am exhausted

My concealer doesn't only 

Hide the bags underneath 

My eyes 

But hides the war that's going on 

Inside my mind

My eyeliner holds the

Tears I fight with every night

Because if they came out

It would only make this body 

Look weak

Like this body ain't 

Got enough things to prove

I am sick of this body telling 

Me what to do

Tired of people judging

Me

Because of this body

I am not just this body

I am more than just this body