Body Betrayal

My fingers itch with harmful anticipation

A neverending infatuation 

My bones creak under the stress of my aching shoulders

My body jerks with fear at the sudden thought,an unresting soldier

The itch and ache will be too much one day 

My body betraying me, led astray

Warmth will drip all the way down 

Too weak to swim but too scared to drown

My hands will shake as I realize what I have done

My life, so short,only just begun

My stomach a void

waiting for the brains command on what to avoid

what will it be now

refusing the evidence,a constant disallow

the signs are clear 

but im still blinded by fear 

When my body is found a hundred years from today 

what will they say

my skin gone,self harm inevident 

but will that be relevant 

"scars are forever" 

but we are told life is short, never say never 

I know one day i'll fade away

then it wont matter what I weigh

My hands still itch

my bones still creak

My body will shake and jerk 

to know im alive 

to always tell myself how to survive 

to know I am still here