Boredom Prelude

When I wake up, I see no purpose But to thank God Thank God for allowing me to breathe, and to thank God for allowing me to see. My life, I don't believe I move as if I'm a puppet & I don't recognize what I feel, even if I squeeze. My soul has suffered defeat. I mean, why must I feel so discreet? (Sigh) Answers & God's calling is what I seek. No matter how much I read, or how much I "think" I believe, My heart signals my mind that it's something I haven't achieved . . . (Sigh) When I ask God what's my purpose, I don't seem to comprehend, then I become hopeless; how bogus? Man, I swear this is not how I imagined life to be, After achieving so much, I'm stuck Going through casualties . . . (Sigh) I wish this was all a dream. But it's comparable to a nightmare, a fright; indeed . . . Sometimes I tell myself encouraging things. But i'm at a loss for words, suddenly . . .