Bowling Balls

These words are heavy

as they fall out of my mouth

'cause I'm coughing up bowling balls.

I'm scared to drop these thoughts on you

'cause I don't want them to land 

on your bare toes.

You might scream at me

and blame me for it all,

Or deny I was at fault

and say that there is nothing wrong.

You might tell me

you feel sorry for my butterfingers

'cause you are quite dexterous,

Or maybe you will only wince away the pain

and say nothing

only shrinking

away from me.

All I want 

is for you to just get it.

I want you to tell me

you've coughed up things before;

I want you to understand.

But I'm too afraid to find out 

if you'll fully understand

how exactly my throat could withstand

the width

and girth

and weight

of a bowling ball.