The Boy I Love(d)

The first boy I loved, his smile was kind
But his eyes were cold
The first boy I loved, his hands were soft
But his grip was rough
The first boy I loved, his words were kind
But his language was harsh
The first boy I loved, he said he loved me back
He did not.

His “love” was forcing me to do things I swore to my mother I’d never do

His “love” was telling me I couldn’t say no because I was his

His “love” was pushing me away from my guy friends because he didn’t trust me

His “love” was telling me I couldn’t leave because then he would kill himself

His “love” was never there.

The boy I love now, his smile is kind

His eyes are kind too

The boy I love now, his hands are soft

And his touch is gentle

The boy I love now, his words are kind

And his language is sweet

The boy I love now, he says he loves me back

And he does.

His love is telling me we can wait because he knows I’m not ready

His love is telling me I can say no because he respects my decisions

His love is encouraging me to hang out with my friends because I’ve been hiding so long

His love is telling me he will never leave because he loves me

His love is always there.