to the boy who still loves me

i know

your heart aches

when you run out of distractions;

when your insomnia

takes the form

of the memories we once shared.

but it is you

who ripped them to pieces

and threw them away,

only to want to tape them back together again.

it was you

who told me you loved me

and hated me

in the same day,

all while i just wanted

to hold your hand.

it was you,

who kissed me

like you loved me

only to leave

for endless weeks

where my bed was

just too cold

to sleep in alone.

but it was me,

who was too scared

to love you as much as i did.

and i’m sorry,

because it’s been so long

and i still dream about

the things you used to say.

cause

i’m the girl

who still loves you.