To The Boy Who Stole My Innocence

I relive every Valentine’s Day since our first.

When chocolates and roses were replaced with

A misplaced hand.

Cold, like the eyes at the other end of the playground.

I will not forget

Trying to escape

Through the warmth of middle schoolers at a dance.

Yet at the back of the loud, crowded gym,

I still felt cold.

The cold froze the word “no”

Because every time I said it you asked

“But don’t you love me?”

As if love meant you could come in at any moment

Was cutting off my friends

Was killing any version of a future without you

And I believed you.

It’s been five years.

But I still feel your icy grip

Every time I’m intimate.

The words “I’m sorry” are tattooed on my tongue

Though my boyfriend tells me

There’s no reason so apologize now.

So I’m un-sorry,

I’m collected

And today

I am warm.

Best,

The girl who grew up

Written by Destiny Rivera