To The Boys

by j.s.m.w

January 27, 2016

To the boy who broke me when I was completely whole

You took pieces of me away I didn't even know existed

Felt deep in my soul and burned it

You taught me why sunshine was dry and how comparing light to happiness was only ever a metaphor

Bc everyday after I bathed in it

I felt sore

My heart was blackened and I could never go back again

I realized the only way to find happiness in the hardest of times was through your self

That to unlock secret doors I had to make me whole again

Tape me whole again

But you see a heart can not be fixed with scotch

So I drowned

Trampling all over myself I stumbled through the dark

And I could never get it bc I told myself it was only ever a metaphor

You taught me that when someone breaks you

There's always time to start over again

To pull yourself back from scratch

A nude soul that's what I was a year 3 months and some days after you left

Bare, not knowing where to go

I slowly found those pieces

You started the way that lead me to be strong

Even though you won't hear this tonight or any other night for that matter

I can finally say I miss you without being sad

Thanks for the strength

Love,

Elmo

To the boy who thought he broke me when I was already full of chips and stains

Thankyou

I would go on but there's really nothing more to say

Nothing more than

You were what made me laugh on gloomy days

&& when I couldn't think of why I loved you it was because there were too many words held descriptively in my mind

I know that now

I also know that your just a milestone away from a break through

That never needed me along the way

But still I say Thankyou for picking me out to go with you on life's journey

I swear it was fun

Even when I disliked you it was fun

Your hatred stung

Though like a addict I still hung on to your drug

So I could tape you too

Then when we tried to rip it off we bruised

I know you feel as if that relationship was just used

But you were my tape

Just not the right kind

The only kind to end tragically

You were Romeo & I, Juliet

We are not Shakespeare

We cannot rewrite a destined fate

So I chose to love while you chose to wither in hate with "her"

She filled in my space

Still on I guess they were right you could still find the sweetest people in the darkest of times

It's just that I needed more than tape or glue or any other substance to fix what was broken

P.s Don't worry you'll find you another person to love

The moon and stars will bow down at her feet

The sun will shine when she raises

You'll be lost at words

Then at that moment you'll realize why it never worked out with me

Love Always,

Peaches

To the boy who helped me realize tape and glue were not what was needed to heal my soul

It was forgiveness

It was patience

It was kindness

It was finding my way through God

It was standing in the dark but knowing someone was always there with a guiding hand

It was believing in myself

You helped me see things I didn't need other people too

I was already full of such things

I've just never had the chance to...

You know express them

I felt like I was always choking on second hand smoke even when I didn't know you put me first

My guardian you call yourself

My protector you claim yourself

Though not every battle of mine was yours to fight

You've never probably stopped to think that along the way you've fought me

God only knows my depths of love for you

So I choose for you to be happy

I stop to conceal myself from you

You tell me it's okay to cry

Summers says this isn't love

She says I'll get over you & heal brand new

The second part may not be wrong

But to say I don't love you

Is like the moon to have never parted tides

I love you so much till where you'll never see this bc you love her

She was right about one thing

When I like or love I do it strong

You could never mistake it for anything but pure

You deserve so much more than the things you go through

And while I know I was never in any of your purest intentions

That I just fell in

Like a droplet in the desert

Ready to be burned

It's okay

You were and still are the perfect best friend

Love,

Gee

To the boys who are or were my everything I know longer smile when I hear your names

Hell I don't break down and cry either

and that's healing

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