Break

You're supposed to understand me better than I do myself Maybe if you just lent me a hand and helped maybe then these questions in my psyche would no longer float Every night these feelings come afloat whether you know it or not Though worse when I was young, they creep over the surface with hope Hope that they can pit me against certain names, ultimately playing me as if I was strung Tuned to the songs we sung, the games we played and the rhymes we said I can quote your words from the letters I read These days and even then I wanted you to step up as a man And late at night them tears crept up because I wanted to be apart of your plan Had you within reach, but like sand you escaped from my grasp Without you I was all but lost but for you I had to stand tall like a man I stood in the image of your ideal perfection I will be your "Buddy" if it meant more love and attention And still you chose a different direction You created more Leaving me feeling as though I wasn't enough Because they'd get what I so hardly fought for When you asked how I felt I knew faking this one would be tough Said I was happy but deep down I wished my tears would force me to drown Those same tears were filled with so much hate and burned as if their goal was to melt my face Cause any likeness of you their goal was to evaporate So while you gave life I began to crack So back away because your change has caused me joy but more pain And sometimes I ask myself if my jealousy is insane But my crystal frame has been battered I'm preparing to shatter No matter how sophisticated and mature I become you have no idea what I endure So tell me more and do more because my frame was built to intake But I warn you one day I have no doubt that you will innate me to break