Break Down

I wonder when

my break down will come

Its not as if

no wounds have been done

to break my heart

to send me spiraling

into fit of tears

and violent shaking

as the memories hit me

far more violently

then when they first happened

hitting others painfully

like how my play mom died

as she was planning to visit me

or my grand dad who,

after seeing me graduate, shortly left me

Better yet the times that other feel for

when relationships didnt work

and others that... well

lets those bottles with their cork

Ive seen many and help those

who fall with a thud

as their break downs surged through them

like a terrifying flood

I watched as they writhed

as emotions rose high

but for some reason, 

Not even a tear came from i

I wonder if im normal

or break downs are the norm

its hard to tell

without a glimpse at a humans perfect form

maybe ill never be fully like everyone

and whats in store is total shut down

Or maybe im just waiting

for the day i finally Break Down