Breakfast

When I woke up I was achin’

For a little pork and bacon

I suspected I might savor

The scrumptious taste of my three neighbors

I left my den at just past ten

To devour my countrymen

And set off towards a house of straw

I knocked and heard a “go away,”

From my inconvenienced prey

He said, “I won’t submit to homicide

To see your hunger satisfied.”

I don’t take sass from my foodstuff

So I said, “I’ll huff and puff!”

“Be off!” he said, with a haughty guffaw

I warned him, “You had best beware,

Here comes a mighty gust of air!”

With a power so immense,

I unleashed my lungs’ contents

The straw succumbed to my strong wind

Before me stood the lad, chagrined

He hurried off towards a house of sticks

With great speed, the first chap soared

To his confederate nextdoor

I marched to their abode, intent

Upon consuming both the gents

“Come out,” I commanded, with great rage,

“Or I’ll make your house disengage!”

“Sure you will!” cried the skeptics

I said “I won’t stand for insurgence,

I sure do hope you have insurance!”

I aimed my breath right at their dwelling

And very soon it was propelling

Then I saw the two, quite fraught

In what was now a vacant lot

They sped off to a house of brick

I chased them, with my stomach growling,

To their refuge, and started howling:

“I’ve got you now, you gutless cowards,

Surrender now, and be devoured!”

They said, “we won’t fall for your tricks,

Huff away, you can’t hurt our bricks.”

I cried, “I’ll make you derelicts!”

I knew my limits; strong their house stood

To huff and puff would do no good

To get these succulent pork chops

I’d have to find and employ a prop

Luckily, I did have one

I figured could get the job done

I left, and came back with something swank

I gave them one final warning:

“Come out, or face my new plaything!”

“We’re safe in here,” the blokes presumed.

I pushed a red button, and “BOOM!”

The house exploded, bricks soared about

The pigs ran off, with a startled shout

I followed them in my T-90 tank.