Breaking and Broken

Giving up, Giving in
Failing, Failure.
I am not okay
These words
are eating me
But no one is 
saying them to me
But I say them to myself
Why do I do this?
Why do I wish for pain?
Am I worth what it takes to
be and live and say and do?
Help me, I'm lost and cannot find
my way through the darkness,
This path leads to nowhere and
that is where I am living now 
so I don't need you to help me 
find my way, because I found this
place and it is where I will stay.
It is where I choose to stay because
there is no other place like it for me.
It is what I watch and see when I listen,
but you can not find the place in which
I dwell even if you live a life as I do,
because you do not know what it is like
to be me, and I am not the one who you
think you know, because you could never
know me, because I am no one.