Breakthrough

Dear fear,

You whispered sweet lies to me, they were so good, they were believable. I listened to you, every breath that escaped your lungs held me down. I was shackled to your every word. You shattered me. I would hide away the pieces I found, I didn't want you to have them. I tried to put myself back together, but it seemed impossible. You imprisoned me, seperated me from society. My brokeness and shame drove me mad, I can't explain how painful it was. The distance between who I was and who I could be grew. You put a veil over my eyes, the darkness surrounded my being and overwhelmed every thought. You can't help it though, it's who are. Everytime I tried to leave you blocked the path, you became my biggest obstacle. My heart grew heavy with burdens and it was all too much to bear. I crawled into this deep abyss I made from my own mind, it was my escape from you. Little did I know it was really surrender. Your goal was to destroy me. My hope died slowly, my faith was locked away behind a glass box. Though I could see it, I couldn't get to it. Do you know what it's like, to watch the beauty of your innocence fade? What do you do when you can't do anything anymore? You don't even care. You just steal, kill and destroy. It's who you are! There is one thing you didn't know, that I wasn't yours to keep. You see, I didn't belong to you. I thought I was alone, I was wrong. All the while someone was fighting for me. I got caught up in a war; taken captive, beatened and bruised. I felt so worthless, usless and alone. I couldn't see the light, it was so far away. As it came closer and closer it tore down every obstacle, it was coming for me. Suddenly every thing became so much clearer and every word you spoke to me meant everything to nothing quick. I had a Rescuer. He pulled me out of the deep dark abyss and crushed the lies with truths. I had never seen anything so amazing, it seemed like a fairytale. My nightmare had a happy ending, but it's not the end it's a new beginning. He set me free from your trap. You fear, are a liar. You told me "You're not good enough", "You're a failure." and "You're never going to be loved.". You just want to feel powerful so you take advantage of people and break them down so you can feel better about yourself. So pathetic. You see, this Rescuer showed me who I really am. He took my broken pieces and built me into something new, slowly, but it takes time to repair the damage. I grew from everything I endured and learned from it. You lost. After every storm comes a rainbow, it took a long while for me to see that rainbow. Though the journey may be long and sometimes rough, it makes the destination so much more worth it. I didn't think I was ever going to be free, but miracles do happen. Oh by the way, how does it feel to be defeated? It looks pretty grim from what I see.

    -Stef