Breathe

My heart races my sight blurs my breath quickens panic has taken over will I find a job will I be able to pay for college will I figure out how to live that perfect life the one i see everytime I close my eyes the one I obsess over the enjoyable lucrative career comfortable yet large home loving, kind, and wonderful husband a daughter a son the panic becomes worse as I wonder are these really my hopes my dreams What I want for myself? Or are these all the things society tells me I won’t be happy without? are these dreams the key to my happiness or are they my foot in the door to fitting in seeming normal would I be happier in a tiny apartment with a good friend unmarried childless with a job I love that doesn’t make me millions I sit I think I pick apart humanity until all we are is biology ignore all philosophy and become the chemistry throw away ideology and breathe.