Breathe

Dear existences, 

Why am I here, what is my purpose, and why do I fear the most general things in life. Why did this happen, why, what is the point of all of us being here, in this small planet in a big universe, to make us feel smaller? Why did the Holocaust happen, why was Lincoln president, how was slavery repealed, why does anything matter, and why should I believe any thing in this world is real. Life is a story, same routines same places same things different names, what difference does it make. What difference do I make, why does it matter. Why am I here, in this crowded little earth we call home, what's the point? Sometimes I feel like if I was not alive there would be millions of other people, which there are, that would have the same interests in life, if I don't become a doctor, millions of others will, so why does it matter if I'm victorious or a failure, what does that even mean, why do my parents care, is it pride, is it love, what even is love? To me it's just hormones acting out because I feel like we were just born to reproduce so our species doesn't go extinct. Though, that's probably the wrong love considering it's ambiguity, adjacent to this world's uncertainties. Why do we have feelings for other human beings, why do we not, what is real and what is fake, aren't they all the same, just ideal thoughts made up by our race? Why does this letter matter, why am I here, what will I change, and why do I fear. FDR said the worst thing to fear is fear itself. I fear and my doubt makes me fail what ever i try to prevail, my confidence is so low. I've been reminded multiple times, however what does fear mean to him and what does fear mean to me. The language that conveys my thoughts isn't well understood to someone who isn't me. Why am I astute compared to my peers or do I just think that based off of who I am. What am I? A bag filled with memories that make up my entity, however everyone has different memories and that's why we are all unique and have different ideals, or at least that's what I think?. Why am I here and why does it matter. We all think differently because we have different memories and we respond differently because of our spirituality I'm not talking about religion I'm talking about the choices you make whether good or bad it's all the same because every thought is just a philosophy and it won't matter unless you make it matter, I am here because I have a purpose, whether to be sane or insane, work or be unattained, eat sushi or drink champagne, should I care if someone reads this, yes because who I am and who you are influences who other people will become. You're presence affects whomever you meet and have met. It will always be that way. People have lived and died now it's your turn to print your name. Everyone leaves a mark in someway. Everyone born on this earth has been drawn to the ground and to some place to some thought to some idea; un conscientiously aroused. We all have purpose and that purpose is what you make it be. Either way it will change your world and inspire others to create as well, indeed. This letter might not mean anything to you but it means something to me. It gives me faith to stand up tall and continue the rest of my routine, with hope that I will change something, that you will change something, that humanity will change something for generations to come and that we will all be history for students to read and study so that they can change something, making life more bitter and more sweet, with some sense of neutrality. Those who exist have left a print, we know their names, we know they were there cuz the left something for us to work with. The cycle of patents will never decease because there will always be someone, somewhere, who cares about something, because life is too boring to just sit there, and do nothing. (End) ( I wonder how people would respond to this letter, do I fit, do I not, is it offensive, it wasn't intended to be? I just said what I've learned so far, based on past thoughts and memories. I'm just curious to know how you see, and what you believe, because if it matters to you then it should matter to me. We all breathe the same air, might as well do it peacefully.  I'm consistently afraid to post things, afraid if I harmed or hurt anyone, but at the same time I'm curious to see what people think and how they feel. Maybe this is why it is dangerous to fear fear, because then you won't be able to reveal how you feel and how you think, something that changes the world.) 

 

 

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