Breathe

Location

Once upon a time, I lost myself. I lost the sun.

I lost the colors, the world, my smile. I lost the moon.

I lost the stars, the light, my laughter. I lost the sky.

I lost the clouds, the blue, my being. I lost my breath.

 

When you can't see the world anymore, can't feel the life,

You lose sight of what's real, and you lose parts of yourself.

I couldn't smile, and I couldn't laugh. I didn't know who I was anymore.

Nothing was as it was supposed to be, and I could barely force myself to breathe.

 

All I wanted was for someone to take my hand, and lift me up again.

I needed someone to pull me up from the waves, to keep my head above water.

I needed someone to pick me up from the dirt, to stand me on my feet again.

I just needed a little help, but no matter how loud I would scream... No one came.

 

It was hard just to get up every morning, to start another day.

I didn't want to face the pain. And I wondered; could I sleep it all away?

It didn't help that no one was around, that no one understood.

I was never happy, but everyone believed the smile, I plastered on my face.

 

I was stuck somewhere in the middle, everything left behind, but nothing up ahead.

No one was there with me, they all left me behind, choking on the dust.

They all moved on, and forgot. I stayed still and found myself lost.

No one looked back. No one saw me all alone. No one cared to help me.

 

So I did it on my own. I woke up from the darkness, I opened my eyes.

I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, I watched the last rain drop fall.

I witnessed the first flower emerge from the snow, and a broken tree bud, flourish, and grow.

I saw the first sliver of the silver moon, I saw the bright sun light the sky to blue.

 

I survived the flood of memories that tried to push me back.

I fought the winds of torment that wanted to knock me down.

I stood through the shaking of failure that tried to make me fall.

I forced myself to look away when I remembered what used to be.

 

Eventually, after I was battered and beaten, bruised and broken,

I broke the surface of my ocean of tears. I emerged from my pitch black cave of fears.

I brushed the dirt off my clothes and skin, I wiped the tears from my face again.

I saw the sun shining bright in the sky, I saw the mountains, trees. Heard the rivers, felt the breeze.

 

A smile broke across my face. I laughed so hard it hurt. I cried in relief until I couldn't anymore.

After a moment I noticed the rise and fall of my chest, the easy beating of my heart.

For the first time in a long time, I felt alive again. I felt whole - complete.

And for the first time since I fell apart, it wasn't so hard to breathe.

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