breathe

"Breathe" they say, like it's that easy. Pounding chest, sweaty palms, wrists stinging from the pain, but anything is better than this,right?

shaky knees, rollercoaster thoughts bringing up your highs and lows mixing in confusion and sorrow.

Zombie like presence, floating from place to place always stuck in that same routine.

"Breathe" they say, like it's that easy. They don't know what I've been through, they don't know how excruciating this pain is.

All the times I've sat lifelessly on my bathroom floor, mascara stained cheeks praying for God to take me away, and yet all they can muster is breathe.

Countless hours of therapy all saying the same things, rotating medications, sticking to old habits.

Searching for someone, something to numb the pain to turn off the hurt and sorrow. 

When finally you take their advice and "breathe"

A saviour.

You meet Him and you feel like you can move your legs and unravel yourself from the forest of blankets you've been engulfed in.

You meet Him and you feel like you are worthy, loved, cared for. All your darkness disappears and fades into the abyss of lost thoughts and hopeful encounters that amount to nothing.

You witness His grace and how someone so pure could love someone as broken as you, can mend your heart and bandage your wounds.

You realize you have a father, one who loves unconditionally.

"Breathe" they say, and now you can finally listen.