Breathe Again
Depression isn’t gentle
She doesn’t knock when she enters the room
Or text you before she comes over
Instead she kicks down the door and takes what is hers
She does not need your opinion
Nor does she respect it.
You are nothing as she will remind you
Again and again and again
Knocking you to the floor and kicking you
Again and again and again
You want to run, but where do you go?
You want to cry, but who would care?
You want to fight, but who do you fight?
She isn’t just in you she is you
Every bone in your body
Every ounce of your flesh
Every tear in your eye
She is pulsating with fear
Pulsating with hatred for you
Like a darkness spreading through your soul
Making you question if you even have one
Wondering what happens after we die
Should we show her?
Show her the painting she has made
The artwork on your flesh
If your body were a museum all rights would be hers
Breathe
They tell you that again and again as if you never thought of it
As if she would let you try
As if you wouldn’t just be inhaling all the mistakes you have made up until now
Stop
She is getting in your head
Or was she there this whole time
Are you sick or just lonely?
There’s no way to tell, but the blood drips down from your lip
You’ve been biting down too hard again
Whether it’s your tongue or your lip is unclear
Your mouth is numb from muttering to yourself
Lights flicker in the back of your brain
Fighting for control over what is rightfully yours
Or is it?
The see-saw on the playground is bouncing back and forth
No children seem to be around though
Except the one still holding your wrist
Except now it’s begun to hurt
You didn’t notice until now
It burns like a fire licking your skin
Did you do this to yourself or is it another cruel trick
Getting dizzy now and a little bit cold
Is this just apart of getting old?
No
This is her
It always has been
Keep fighting or you’ll drown
Swim to the surface, where the light meets the waves
Like a portal out of this hell
When you breach the surface then you’ll breathe again
If you just fight a little bit harder then you’ll breathe again
Don’t let the darkness swallow you and you’ll breathe again
I just want to breathe again.
Breathe again