Breathe, Goodnight

Is it unoriginal for me to say that no one has felt the darkness of the world as I have?
I found my comfort in sleep so that I  would not feel these things,

These things that have consumed me

Taking over my body- the things that have stopped me from being me

I stopped being myself for a long time

That is when I closed my eyes….

Shaking my head, Why should I even try

The eyes that have cut my heart

The voices that have stolen my soul

Day by day I lose my day

Can you begin to understand where I am coming from?
It is more than an insecurity

Every morning, when I wake up, I want to go back to sleep

Just when I feel happy I remember

I remember that that will never be a part of me

For every day that I prayed I received nothing

‘Please just take it away’’

I have held my breath for so long I am just waiting for my moment to breathe (exhale)

That moment, when I can actually be me

waiting for someone to tell me it. is. o.k.

Crying on their shoulder, I am one step closer

That moment when I can enjoy the wind blowing in the trees

When I wrote this, I did not have to think

Everything just came to me

when you have lived with something that has taken everything away from you

understanding and knowing your feelings become an understatement

You also learn thyself and all that you are capable of

Although I notice it all

I can never even begin to touch all of the things I dream

Because of all of my insecurities have swallowed me

I am not the girl I used to be

So, I continue to sleep

That is the only thing that is for me

I am tired

The sleeping beauty, I do not know how much more I can take

I live my sadden truth every day

Suffocated, I can not breathe

I have inhaled and have been left to turn purple or blue

I feel that no matter what I say, you will never understand the message

Maybe it just takes a saying

Now, I am saying to you, “goodnight”

Do you understand me?

Goodnight,

Breathing