Breathless Heart...

My heart no longer smiles the way it use to It just sits there and stifles The feelings that it really wants to let out It holds back and waits Unwilling to express itself out of the anxiety That self-expression will be the one reason for its destruction But then again who cares if it fails If it suddenly stops Or explodes from all The hidden emotions Maybe when it is completely demolished It wouldn’t hurt every time I breathe It wouldn’t stop every time I hear your name It wouldn’t break down and cry every time you Decide to cross my mind Or decide that maybe you should text or call me out of pity Well spare me your sympathy Cause after a week or two And you decided that everything is more important Than me, I get over you And then you choose to text me at the point where I’m happy and realize that I don’t need You around or in my life to cause me pain But just then I snap back into the mind set that I was in only about a few days before And I begin to hate! I get mad, sad, anxious, depressed And every other negative emotion that you could think Of But my hatred isn’t towards you No not at all I hate myself But not on some emo I want to die type of crap But more like a why are you so stupid Andria! You’ve trained yourself to not believe That a child of my age can really feel like this But you have let yourself be deceived my the Perfect exterior of what I assumed to be “love” Unaware that behind every blue sky there Is a deadly storm waiting to catch you while You’re out without an umbrella I write all of this instead of saying it Because you cant listen And some people just can’t understand I don’t know what to do so I lay back unsure of how to handle my heart That now seems to be in your hand…