Breeze

Have you ever seen those ads?

Take this drug and your migraines will be gone! Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, receding hairline, loss of bladder control, halitosis, scoliosis, uneven tire wear, low resale value on your home, fleas, poor gas mileage, temporary tooth loss, puppy kicking, complete breakdown of civilization, or even death

I think I’ll take the migraines…

But I couldn’t take the migraines anymore

Waking up every morning with my head in a pressure cooker

Like the walls of my room were closing in on me

Like I was wearing a hat made of razorblades – I needed help

Help came in a small orange bottle of relief called Topamax

And the world cleared up

The flowers in my brain finally blossomed

Sunshine and butterflies and rainbows!

I could get out of bed!

I could sit in class without wanting to jump out of the window – sometimes

I was okay!

Please let your doctor know if you have any unusual changes in mood or behavior or signs of depression

I didn’t

I didn’t realize it was unusual

I thought it was just my emotions riding the rollercoaster inside a 16-year-old’s head

I spent my spring break lying on the couch trying to work up the strength to sit up

To go outside

To speak to someone

Nothing

I hated the music I’d loved the week before

My favorite food was disgusting

Why was my dog trying to sleep with me?

Why were all my friends drunk at a party when I was breaking down on my kitchen floor because I wanted the pain to end?

I finally talked to my mom

“What’s causing this?”

No clue.

“Did something happen?”

Not at all.

“Is it a girl?”

I wish.

…

“Maybe it’s the pills.”

Thanks mom!

The next day I stopped and the next day I smiled again

A new bottle of relief came, this one with prettier pills and without the added evil

The flowers in my brain smelled so much sweeter

Sunshine and butterflies and rainbows!

My head didn’t hurt

I could get out of bed!

When I go to bed

I leave the window open

And I let the wind hit me every day when I get up

A breeze just doesn’t feel so bad after a hurricane