Broken

I feel it in my bones that I am weak. There's nobody to talk to, I can't sleep. It's so hard not to feel scarred when I feel like I'm sitting behind bars. Smoking cigars, looking at the stars you'd think I'd be fine, but to be honest my feelings are getting out of line. I'm sitting here writing when I should be dreaming, but instead of dreaming tears are streaming, down my face. People will never understand. To feel this way you'd have to experience it first hand. My daddy left and that will never change. Even if he did come back things would never be the same. He hurt my feelings and my mommas too, if only you knew the pain he put her through. One of these days I won't feel hate, I will forgive him and maybe start a clean slate. Or maybe he'll stop breathing because of the bottles of whiskey he's been drinking, never sleeping but always screaming, about something that was never that serious. He was always mad, always acting delirious. Daddy if you ever read this I know you won't even feel bad. You were always in denial thinking you were a great dad. I hope one day you realize you hurt me, and that I live with guilt when I shouldn't even feel guilty. I'm going to go now that my pillow is wet. I'll never forget you even though I know you don't break sweat, about your kids or your wife is was all just a lie. Just took this time out to write you. Talk to you later, bye.