Broken

I was born;
Whole, perfect, and unblemished.
Years went by;
I learned what pain is.
Many loved me;
But they gave wounds.
Unknowing they shot arrows.
Arrows pierced my heart;
Poison flowed into me.
Words sharper than knives;
They penetrated.
Fear, rejection, pain,
Insecurity and anguish.

I put up a shield;
But there were too many.
My walls could not protect;
My defenses too weak.

But who knew?
I cover the pain; 
Ignore the bloody wounds.
I feel the poison flowing;
It touches my mind.
It penetrates my soul.
But who could know?
I can pretend.

But You saw through;
My walls didn’t fool You.
You know my wounds
You see arrows piercing me.
You never let me hurt alone.

The arrows I hide;
But You want to remove them.
You pull gently;
Not too hard;
Never too hard; 
But I fight You.
God, it hurts too much!
I will bleed.
I will cry.
Oh how it hurts!

But You know;
You overcome my walls.
You push aside my defenses.
Out come the arrows;
Off come the scabs.
I bleed my hearts blood.
The poison is flowing away.
It drips to the dirt.
Oh God, the pain!
It aches.
It burns.
But now I am alive!
No longer poison flowing;
To fill and ruin my mind.
Instead I am whole;
Arrows gone
Wounds fully healed.
Never could I have imagined;
Scars gone;
My heart, whole and pure.

Fill me
Fill me
Fill me
I have a hole,
Where once I stored my pain.
It is empty, and cleaned
Come fill it now.
Come fill me.

No longer poison;
But mercy.
No longer arrows;
But candles of light.
No longer walls;
But freedom.
No longer rejection and fear;
But life and love and beauty.

I am healed.
I am whole.
I am loved.
I am adopted.
I am the candlelighter.