Broken Hope

I was younger

I was happy 

I am happy no longer

I made a mistake

And another

and another

I knew better

but since when has that stopped me?

I fell for a boy

a year younger than I

that destroyed me

it aged me

made me careworn and older.

I was stupid

and thoughtless

thought he'd care

as I did.

I was wrong, 

and I knew it,

and I've paid for that wrong.

In tears,

and in pain,

Over years since it happened,

"Next time",

I say, 

"I'll be smarter,

play better"

but I've tried,

and I won't

I'll be hurt

one more time

til I break

and I fall,

and there'll be no return.