Bug

It creeps in my life Sly, I don’t notice until it pounces. A shadow looming over it all, A cold, shaking storm at the end of the fall Harmless at first, growing stronger each night I’m left at mercy of a hand so strong, I don’t know who I am And it rises from my gut, entangled Caught as hands wrap around my throat Everything’s tighter, tighter than before Every voice loud as it screams, It leaves a mark, a scar, a brand on my heart A toxic burn, burning deeper the more that I Think. I can’t think. I’m thinking too much and not at all Why am I like this, it squeezes my heart Sucking my blood until I’m a shriveled up corpse It just leaves me broken, more shattered than I was before But please, it’s normal, so break more and more It’s the only constant, the solid metronome On a roller coaster, plunging on the drop I can’t breathe, I’m hitting the ground I can’t watch, I can’t look around As I vomit the feeling, I can’t get control I can’t even cry as it swallows me whole But if I numb it now, maybe I can be normal.