Can I still rise?

The night sky full of  light lavender  with clouds spreading distant from the horizon

as the sun sets gently, knowing it's going to rise again.

Day after day it repeats,

over and over again

sometimes I wonder if I can do the same.

Can I rise?

Day after day I watch the streets full of cars,

the night filled with a dark tint of purple,

with constellations being visible on decent days.

On those days, I sit there and filter my mind of what I want to be kept and deleted,

all the negativity should be deleted but sometimes kept,

“you can't do it”,

“aren't you in special education? how's that you grade?”,

“You're not getting accepted to that school”,

As I glare at them in distress I think

can I rise?

Some nights, some very dark nights,

I see people I love being taken away,

being held in one room,

being asked questions,

being interrogated,

I watch as tears fall one  after the other

I still wonder,

can I rise?

With all the evil in the world

I feel like it's all after me,

chasing me, as I run, run as fast as I can

there's always that one rock I trip over, and it catches me

tangling me, smothering  me,

my heart pounding.

Can I  rise?

On some nights when the sky seems to be a sparkling blue

I look up and search for my father.

Sometimes I feel like he's right next to me talking,

making my worries go away as the air filled with giggles,

but in reality it's filled with cold bundles of air swishing around as I sit they're lonely.

On those nights, they seem innocent.

The only thing that penetrates through  my mind is,

can I still rise?

They're some nights where I watch the sunset with the sky painted a comforting orange pigment.

As sit on the countless grains of sand,

as I watch as the birds fly in endless  circles of all sizes.

On those nights, my whole cognitive process  is tranquilized,

my surrounding is at ease,

My spirit doesn't feel like it's been imprisoned,

the shackles and chains have been released as my spirit dance freely in the air.

At that moment I awoke from a dream they felt so alive when I was fulfilled with so much happiness and freedom.

Then I realized I was still sitting on the porch with the sparkling blue sky surrounding me.