Can You Still Hear Me

Dear Conscience,

Do you remember when I was young?

Because I can’t seem

To fit those pieces together

For where I am now

Do you remember when I had fallen to the pavement?

And scraped my knee at recess

You had whispered kind words to me

And I could stand up again

Do you remember when I had felt the first flutters of love?

But it was for another girl

And I was called a freak

But you gave me the courage

To go up to that girl, and whisper

I love you.

And we are still together

To this day

Do you remember when I had failed my first exam?

I was in high school

And I was in tears

But you told me

Hold your ground.

And I aced all my other exams

From then onwards

Do you remember when my father moved away?

He was home one day

And gone the next

And I thought I was all alone

And no one could hear me

But you enveloped me in kind words

And you said

You are so much stronger than you know.

And I picked myself back up again

Do you remember when you were young?

And you filled me with hope

But my single mother was unemployed

And I found out I couldn’t afford school

And my girlfriend moved away

And my father was still gone

And you said to me

You are worthless.

And I broke down crying

You are pathetic.

And I couldn’t think straight

You deserve nothing.

And it felt so final

So absolute

You are nothing.

It hurt, you know

To hear these words

From someone who used to hold you together

But I know you are still in there

And I will fight to hear you again.

Because my mother just got a job offer

My father is sending checks again

And I will say to myself

After earning money to go to school

You deserve this.

After celebrating me and my girlfriend’s one year anniversary

You are worth loving.

And after being accepted into the school of my dreams

You are somebody.

Thank you for teaching me

How to self-love again.

Sincerely,

Me