To Cancer

Dear cancer,

As I write this I cry

I remember thinking that night I would die

But we screamed with tears of joy and filled with pride

We found out you had finally left my life

Not too long after you came back

It felt like I kept being under attack

I wore that cloak of misery on me

My loved ones didn’t know what to say, you see

They felt sorry

I was tired of hearing everybody’s sorry's

Everyone was tired of my emotional stories

The pain of you caused no ease

I was begging the lord on my knees

I couldn’t cry in front of family

Being strong was my strategy

Being strong for them was tearing me apart

But if I wasn’t strong I wasn’t doing my part

They’ve always called me a fighter meantime,

All I did was suck it in and cry on my own time

You were my abuser

Battered, the scars remain

I was tired of being in constant strain

I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe

I cried and would repeat

My advice to myself: breathe, just breathe

Killing me, you caused my anxiety

I just want when you think of yourself, you remember me