Candid, Enthusiastic, and Passionate

Little girl, twelve years old playing with horse toys, never interested in dating boys. Teenage girl, fourteen, singing in her room, dreaming she was in front of screaming fans. As she entered high school she learned how cruel her classmates could be. Bullied and humiliated she cried herself to sleep every night wishing everything would be alright. Her classmates told her she would never accomplish anything, their words always cold and caused her pain, she felt she had nothing to gain.

Sixteen, she went on a date for the very first time, it was a little scary for she didn’t know what to expect, the night went quite alright. She had a good time and asked her mother if she could go out again. Nine days later, she learned what a broken heart felt like when he left her for not giving him her. She had respect for herself, he was full of bad intentions and she full of misconceptions of love.

Eighteen, she had the grace of God at a young age. She had seen evil and felt pain, worthlessness, and had received a lack of kindness from her peers. The tears she shed went unnoticed for years. Depression from bullies, liars, fake friends, she was ready to make amends with herself and become who the good Lord made her to be. She would make something of herself when so many said she’d amount to nothing. She’d show them all how wrong they were. She wasn’t ready to fall quiet yet when she had only just begun to climb. The sun was finally casting a ray of shine on her.

Twenty-one, she found the one to spend her life with. He taught her more about God than what she understood to be true, his words were not cold, he told her she could be anything. She could be something. He told her not that she was ugly but, that she was beautiful. She felt wistful and full of other wonderful things. She felt free to sing to him and let him hear her voice, let him see her, let him see what she showed nobody else before. Her walls came down, she came around to opening her heart willing to restart again as though she were born again. She had become passionate, compassionate, generous, and strong rather than remain bound by pain.

Twenty-three I am finally me. I am not afraid to speak my mind. I am not weak. I am not nothing. I am enthusiastic for tomorrow, I am no longer drowning in sorrow. I am beautiful in the way God made me to be. I am not as my peers defined me. I had to search a while to find me but here I am. Outspoken, no longer broken, free from pain, dance in the rain kind of girl, sing as loud as I can on a stage of imaginary fans screaming my name, though I’m dreaming of healing animals rather than feeling the joys of fame. I am all that God made me to be. My name is Ashlee and this is me.

-Ashlee Luma