car sick

i forget at times how vile i can be

i remember how we start and how we always end 

and it reminds me of the constant molting of my faulty cover

pretending i'm not like you just to hurt you the same way you hurt me

your stomach drops as you see the look on my face when you ask if i love you

my body aroused at the thought of you feeling anything remotely close to what you did to me

the cards spoke to us in the middle of the night 

when you hoped we'd be written in fate

and i tell you nothing really exists

except your nightmares and my ego 

the cards tell you to let go but again you know we'll be right back at the start

i was made to be your lesson

you were made to put me in my place

god told soloman that he'd be punished every life after his own

but is it punishment if you end up wanting it

wanting it

wanting it