The sound of gunshots in my ear
As i watch the video, gloved hand on gun, the sounds echoing
But i don’t even drink coffee
It’s coca-cola in a mug, cold to the touch when my brain thinks otherwise
Just like it did when it heard the gunshots
A dull throb like i should know
I should remember
But there’s nothing. I try but there’s nothing to remember
He showed me a bit of his world
I don’t even remember asking, but he did.
He sounded glad-
As if no one ever asks.
As if his previous dames don’t want to know that side of him
That he would have to kill if it was necessary
I’m not his dame, though in another world perhaps.
Long distance is hard, harder when you’ve never met skin to skin
Face to face
Only through a screen
It’s not your fault, he says
It’s mine, is unspoken,
Though i shrug, he has his brothers there,
They’ve got his back
Against the crazy magpie who has sunk her talons deep into him
Flocking to whatever fits her fancy be it gem or man
He says he is only looking for a concrete reason
The lack of evidence is only one,
I’ll throw my gauntlet in the ring another day,
Right now I’ll just listen to the gunshots,
And hope he will never have to use them in a war.