casino in the clouds

in the clouds i feel closest to you 

the air is cooler and the sky is bluer

i hear you clearer 

and i see you better 

my coffee tastes a little sweeter up here

and my body feels a little lighter 

and my heart feels more full 

because you are nearer

i hope you're proud of me 

and i hope the place you are is even nicer than earth 

i hope you have everything you need 

and i hope you have a good view of us from where you are 

i never got to tell you what i should've 

and i never got to hold your hand one last time 

so much i never got to

so much i never will get to 

but i hope you hear my regrets through the clouds

and i hope you forgive me

you always find me 

and every time i sit by my window and a bird lands on the ledge

i know it's you 

comforting me and showing me that you are here 

it's been a few years now and the pain isn't as fresh

but such pain doesn't diminish 

it's a scar, with a story 

i wish i could've saved you 

and i wish you could've had more time 

but people go as they come  

and you went as you came, beautiful and pure

you were a lucky lady

who loved sliding quarters into slot machines

but life disregards luck 

i suppose life is like a casino

you win and you lose

and sometimes you cram quarters into already full machines

just hoping you'll win big

and when you leave, you're either happy or disappointed 

i  hope  you  left  happily 

i hope to be half as much as you were one day

and i can't wait to tell my children about you

and what kind of person you were

how you were strong and resilient

and feisty and funny 

the color through all the gray 

but most importantly 

i can't wait to see you again 

somewhere in the casino of the clouds