Castle Walls

Fri, 12/12/2014 - 14:18 -- JayJay

Location

Terry Sanford High School
2301 Fort Bragg Rd.
United States
39° 24' 17.7264" N, 123° 23' 4.7832" W

These Castle Walls are stronger then they look. I don't  have the power to break them down, not as it took to raise them up. I don't want to destroy this beautiful master piece. Whoever built this, must have alot to worry about . "Can I change that I wouder, or would my time and effort just plunder?" I don't know. I want to take my time, and ease on in, but I don't want to seem alarming. So I'm going to go cautiously. Sometimes watching very closley does'nt even work, not like it should. 

Once I got on the inside, it seemed like we were already "into" each others lives. Started off as an introductory, what was to come though, was a complete disney fantasy. He shows laughter and joy, Is that whats really on the inside or is it a cover for the outside? I have so many questions, and so much to prove. I don't know where to start, or how to follow this feeling without breaking my heart. 

With all these emotional hastles, I don't want to make this about me, but an amazing Prince within the Castle. You see, he has taken time to get to know me, and appreciated the time we spent together because we felt free. Within these castle's walls, I dont spend alot of my time. Then one day the Prince started making more castle walls.

I came, not to destroy the castle's beauty, but to stengthen these walls. I have waited outside castle walls before, no one would let me prove my loyalty. When I saw this castle's walls, I knew it was special. Not because of the extroadinary height, rather the effort put in to keep strangers out. Call me a stranger, or an intruder for breaking in, though I did it because the architecture of the walls was so familier. Something I once invisioned in my own head, to protet me. Never having the strength to succeed. 

My curiosity got the best of me, maybe that's where I went wrong. I can admit that. The thing is that everyone isnt out to demolish what you love, or take what you have. Thing with love, is you never know where it might take you. Constant questions are asked over and over, just to wish you knew. 

I'm not asking for you to commit with rings. Just an oppurtunity to help with what stings. The truth is these feelings are a new experience for me, and I want to keep them. With this Prince, I can see the light, even in the middle of the darkest night. Being an outcast is old news, new news would be us in a mystery, making history. So I ask, with my heart in hand, please take it as easy as you can. 

Not wanting to have to ask myself, what i should have done differently. When everything I did, was because I was with you. That in it's self can make a fairy tale come true. Looking up into the sky outside of these castle walls, I ask what happened so bad that the Prince had to build these walls, and prevent an outcast from proving himself. Then again, I know how hard honesty is to come by. Thats why I stare into the night sky, hoping everything wasn't just a lie. In the start, my goal was to open a doorway through these walls. Not give the persepective of making everything fall. If it is still against this Castle's laws, take me away to the dungeon stalls.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741