The cat that my Abuela refuses to buy

Because she is afraid she will die before it
Sits in my lap hissing
This hollow poltergeist
Of what could be
My dad calls me selfish
For not taking care of my Abuela and her imaginary cat

The same way my Tia died and I was not there to see it

My dad says “abuelita no abuela, Mi hija”
My dad and my tío just moved my abuela into an assisted living home
He says this will be better for her
She is not allowed to have pets in this building
And what a relief!
To be able to abandon a burden that was never mine
What a relief!
To stop being haunted by the actions I did not take

One day my Abuela will die and I will not be there to see it

I know this

My dad asks me when I will forgive my Abuelita for all the times she wasn’t there

I think of how beautiful she will look under the mask of death

How quickly I will forget the cruelty

With the Calavera over her headstone

Buried next to the cat she never bought