Caution: Flammable

Feeling things were never easy for me-
The ticking hands of the clock without you next to me
nudged my body into something I couldn't exactly stop. 
My bones shake in your embrace and sometimes not in a good way. 
My presence is something that has faded into your mind, 
and my heart just a page on your drawing board, 
always there to give you warmth, 
whenever everything else seems bleak. 
This is why I am no longer your fire pit. 
I should not have to blaze for you to feel my heat. 
I'm tired of getting burned by my own flames 
because you fail to keep it consistent. 

You shook me, figuratively of course. 
But your words shattered what I once saw of you, 
you had been the oxygen that kept me ablaze
until you completely blew me out. 
Your words turned into a windstorm and I haven't been the same since. 
I'm still trying to build the walls around myself
that once kept me alive and burning, 
not letting anything close enough to touch me. 
But time after time you remind me that wreckage can always be rebuilt-
but there's no promises all the progress you made rebuilding
won't come crashing down again and again and again
demanding refuge, demanding attention.
you are the wreckage in my bones, 
and I can't seem to fix myself anymore.