the ceramic tub

the smell of your cologne entering through my nose
as i lay my head against your broad chest
laughing together at the lit up screen placed upon your wall
clouds of smoke surrounding our numb bodies
keeping us locked together for the night

our quiet night interrupted by the piercing screams of your mother
through the thin walls we hear her terrified sobs
yelling for an ambulance, yelling for help
pushing through the wooden doors
her lover is hung over the ceramic tub
lifeless

rushing to help lift the departed soul out of the bathtub
her naked body slipping from our hands
purple breasts glowing as water dripped down them
her limp neck allowed her head to fly back
stone cold

trying to pull clothes over her wet body as we waited for responders to burst through the door
i held your mother's hand and whispered comforting words through my lips
and her hysterical laughter bellowed through the whole house
tears filling the bathtub next to her

men in white dragged her out of the room
asking us what she took
yet we answered with tales of her sobriety
electric-waves sent through her body
looking for a sign of life
a sign of remembrance

a cough broke through the silence as our victim gasped for breath
whispering

“im sorry, im sorry. Not in front of the kids”
carrying her away

eight years sober
yet the officer sits in the closet pulling oxycontin out of old shoes
your mother sits next to the bathtub laughing hysterically
and your other mother is driving away in the ambulance

and in the midst of the confusion
you and i sit on the kitchen floor
one of my hands lies in yours and the other grasps a bible
psalm 31 flooding out in shaky words
both of us, rivers flowing from our eyes

soon you were just a fading face in the hallways
for we reminded each other of pill bottles and green leaves
restless nights of proverbs
and the overlying fact that everything had changed

and now i see HER on the streets
her beautiful black locs shifted to an icy white
her strong arms turned brittle
barley remembering my name
barely remembering her own